the meditation space

live what you love: part 1

2010-07-05T18:08:00.001-07:00

">Live What You Love: 50 Questions to Ask Yourself

"Probing into myself isn’t easy. I’m so thick-headed. I can adequately probe someone else, but when it comes time to ask myself, “what do I want?” I always come up blank. So as an exercise for myself and you, I’ve created a list of questions to ask ourselves to help define that passion. They are not in any particular order, except for my own random stream of consciousness. I tried to avoid common cliche questions, as I’ve never found them helpful and you probably wouldn’t either."

-Tia Peterson

1. How do you really feel about what you are doing right now at this exact moment?

Right now, I am updating my blog and reflecting upon my life in Phoenix that past 18 years. Thus far, it's been ... eventful. I have certainly come into my own here. I have learned here. I have made mistakes here. And now, I am leaving here. But I'm ready for the next part of my life to begin.

2. What is your fondest childhood memory? Who was there? What was going on?

Perhaps my fondest childhood memory is simply that of soaking up the wonderful summers: relaxing, swimming in the pool, playing at the park, and enjoying growing up with my sisters. I think strawberry soda may have also been involved :)

3. How comfortable are you in your home?

Being technically homeless, I am as comfortable as one can be. But if I choose to define "home" as my happy place, I live with the most amazing roommate, and I know that we can make a home out of any house.

4. How comfortable are you in your town/city? State?

I only recently began to feel somewhat comfortable in Phoenix, but I have always loved Arizona's natural beauty. My new city (Oakland,CA) is going to be filled with adventure. I hope I will rather love California.

5. What kind of weather do you like?

Sunshine. A rainy day. As long as the temperature stays above freezing... I like it all. I try not to let weather dictate my moods.

6. Do you believe you can have your cake and eat it, too? Why or why not?

Why not?? What torture it would be to have cake, but not be able to eat it. If I am working hard to have my cake, you bet I will reap its rewards by eating it, too.

7. What is one quality about your parent(s) that you really loved?

They allowed me to make mistakes, and be independent.

8. What is one quality about your parent(s) that you really do not like?

I wish I had more time being less "little mommy" and relinquishing my childhood.

9. Do you like what you are doing for money?

I love it so much that I would teach without a paycheck. (Now, if only we could remove all the bureaucracy, then I would really enjoy teaching!)

10. What do you feel is your greatest skill?

Easy: planning.

exploring Phx as a tourist

2010-07-05T17:38:00.002-07:00

being (mainly) jobless throughout the month of July, i am considering it a blessing to have my last three weeks in Phoenix being full of seemingly endless free time. i decided to explore my hometown as a tourist, making sure to allow room for spontaneity to erupt, as it so often does in the summer. unfortunately, not working also coincides with a serious lack of money, so this list has been compiled of free, or nearly free, activities. events/activities already done are bolded.

thus, my to- do/-see list includes the following:

- visit the AZ Science Center

[free with Culture Pass]

- explore the Desert Botanical Gardens on a nighttime flashlight tour

[free with Culture Pass]

- go to the Heard Museum - which is something I have never done before

[free with Culture Pass, and also free certain Sundays each month]

- visit the Pueblo Grande Museum (another first for me)

[free with Culture Pass]

- go to the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art, which happens to be free on Thursday evenings

- hike Camelback mountain -- in the early a.m. due to extreme heat!

[free!]

- go to Barrio Cafe for their Sunday brunch, because they also have live music that begins at noon

[worth any amount of money you will pay]

- make one last final trip to the best sushi place in AZ, Moira

[worth any amount of money you will pay]

- eat at Postino's wine cafe and order planks of bruschetta [p.s., sign up for their email list and receive a coupon for a free plank of bruschetta!]

- go to Pizza al Metro for their delicious (and cheap) homemade pasta

[cheap! under $10!]

- hike Piestewa Peak

[free!]

- vintage (window) shopping in the Melrose district

[free if you leave your wallet in the car :) ]

- a tour of Fashion Square to people watch and drool over the greatness that is Anthropologie

[also free if you leave your wallet in the car!]

- bar crawl (say what?!) along Mill Avenue -- best if you ride the lightrail there from downtown Phx

[lightrail pass = $3.50, one drink at each bar = $20, endless people watching = priceless]

- take a walk at the Downtown Scottsdale Art Museums thursday nights' free Art Walk

- eat and shop at the Chinese Cultural Center

[cheap! lunch is between $5 and $10!]

- visit Char's Has the Blues on a no-cover night -- monday through thursday

[free unless you want a drink]

- take a mini-adventure to Besh-Ba-Gowah Park and explore the ruins

[$4 each person]

- explore Tempe Beach Park

[free]

- consider myself a true Phoenician by having a parting meal at Garcia's Las Avenidas

[cheap! about $10]

- go to Kazimierz World Wine Bar

[no cover on wednesdays!]

- do yoga in the park at the Biltmore on a Sunday morning

[free!]

- visit the African American Multicultural Museum, which is always free

- go to the Bead Museum, which is free on thursday evenings

- float down the Salt River

[$15 per person, which includes tube rental]

- watch the Diamondbacks

[tickets start at $6]

- people watch and art shop at First Fridays

[free!]

- visit the Phoenix Art Museum, free (donations only) on Wednesday evenings

granted... there are many other things worthy of doing in Phoenix (as a tourist), but i only have 20 days left!

**also, visit a local library and check out a Culture Pass, which grants free admission to most of the museums listed!

obsession: my new favorite website

2010-06-02T10:42:00.001-07:00

do it yourself projects (especially the quick ideas section!)

i can't wait for the big move. can. not. wait.

decor

2010-05-16T16:37:00.010-07:00

in anticipation of the big move, my mind is (excitedly) running wild with decorating ideas. i've been reading decorating blogs, decorating magazines, and flipping through decorating websites. [house beautiful, anyone??]

i've also been looking through current furnishings of mine and of lisa's to determine what materials we already have and what materials we could add to our new space. i have concluded the following theme would be fun:

coastal africa [definitely NOT safari]

apparently, this is a decor inspiration which has not been done much before (yay!), but that poses some interesting challenges. so, after racking internet pictures - and my brain - i have created the following list of what i think coastal africa should encompass:

neutral colors (browns, tans, golds, cremes) with shots of "sea" colors (blues, greens) and a hint of red
texture, texture, texture [grass, wood, stone, wicker, textured paint (like sand) etc.]
interesting and culturally-relevant artwork [lisa's batiks, one tribal mask]
stone or hardwood or concrete flooring with sea grass/sisal rugs
tribal patterns on pillows and chairs in neutral colors
less is more
and, of course, sustainable fabrics/materials, etc. [especially when combined with the use of refurbished vintage/flea market buys]

and, lastly, i developed the following inspiration and design boards. the first is room design, and the second is overall inspiration.

thoughts?

garbage week

2010-04-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

i am stealing a trend from my sissy's blog, and am enlisting myself in the following challenge:

to buy ZERO groceries this week (other than some apples and oranges for snacks) and participate in garbage meals. the idea behind garbage, or kitchen pantry, meals is to use only what is already in your kitchen. being that my roommate is out of town (and that i'm a little on the broke side of things), i figured this week would be an excellent experiment.

stay tuned on my recipe blog, here!

dia de la Tierra

2010-04-22T05:49:00.002-07:00

in honor of Earth day (honestly one of my favorite days), i am stealing the following "green" Earth day tips from the NY times - see the full article, here - to share:

1. debate whether addressing climate change is good or bad for the economy (don't forget to READ and teach yourself the facts, first!)

2. go paperless (at least for today!)

3. reflect on what you already know about Earth day, and then commit to make it better

4. plant a tree

5. design an Earth-friendly invention

6. watch Planet Earth, or this documentary, or read poetry about Earth

7. make an effort reduce your carbon footprint (calculate your carbon footprint, here, first!)

8. consider the politics behind climate change. where do you stand? why?

9. examine/research different types of energy sources and pollution. (a good place to begin may be here)

10. track our government's environmental policy - you could start here

**THESE will take time. perhaps vow to do one of these today? i'm going paperless :)

friendship gratitude.

2010-04-18T12:29:00.002-07:00

me & my bestie

last night was our friend's, Anu, birthday. what a lovely celebration with friends Top Chef style:

Anu-inspired dishes (we made blueberry pancakes with warmed apples and strawberries as per The Notebook)
amuse-bouche contest with veggie burgers
Erin's excellent raspberry mojitos
lots of laughter

**to see my award-winning amuse-bouche veggie burger bite, check me out on twitter: here!

what's your story?

2010-04-12T06:13:00.003-07:00

the political fellowship i am completing is huge on messaging. and by messaging, i mean story telling.

[to really understand what i am talking about, watch this video where obama shares 2000 stories in 19 minutes.]

it took me some time to first (a) establish an issue i wanted to persuade people about and then (b) decide on a personal story to use to persuade. i eventually went with education and persuading people to vote for Arizona's one cent sales tax increase to support school funding (please vote may 18th phoenicians!).

once i settled on my issue, i had to decide on a story. so, here goes another round of practice:

"my name is joanna and i'm a teacher. last year, i had a student named jezzie. jezzie was your typical 8th grade girl: she was into fashion, she liked to flirt with the boys, and she secretly was a hard worker. you know those eighth graders, not wanting to appear nerdy so to lose their "cool" reputation. unfortunately, jezzie did not grow up with the same opportunities as some of her classmates. jezzie entered my classroom as an eighth grade student reading on a second grade level, and performing mathematically on about a fourth grade level. due to having many other needy adolescents, i did not have the opportunities i needed to be able to sit one-on-one with jezzie, like she needed. however, jezzie is not alone. in arizona, roughly thirty percent of all students are like jezzie - they need that extra time or attention, mathematics manipulatives, and class sizes under thirty. thanks to your yes votes last year on the bond override, i was granted the opportunity to attain a teaching assistant to work with jezzie, and the other jezzies in my classroom. together, working one-on-one and utilizing the resources we were fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to acquire, we were able to bring jezzie to a sixth grade mathematics performance. without those opportunities, jezzie may have been left behind. without opportunities such as teaching assistants, classroom materials, and technological resources, all of the jezzies may end up falling behind in arizona. that's why, today, i am asking you to vote YES on May 18th for the one-cent sales tax increase in arizona. we need to ensure that students, like jezzie, are receiving the education they deserve. the education that grants them the opportunity to succeed in school, go on to college, and become productive members of our society. please vote yes on may 18th."

thoughts on where/how i could improve? did i convince you to vote yes?

the clean program

2010-04-06T06:23:00.002-07:00

i decided - after watching an episode of martha stewart a while back - to detox my body and allow for me to discover which foods don't interact well with my system. i bought this book, CLEAN, to help me along such a journey.

essentially, the program that i am completing lasts four days of intensive cleansing: breakfast and dinner are liquids (home-made fresh juices, smoothies, soups) with a solid lunch only eating foods on the "good" list. the "good" list avoids foods which have been known to have negative interactions with people's bodies [things such as: citrus, soy, wheat, dairy, eggs, certain types of meat, and processed foods].

i am officially on day 2. after day 4, you slowly (one-by-one) re-introduce foods that you would like to add back in to your diet and journal to see how your body reacts. currently, i am thinking about not adding back in wheat, eggs (at least, not in copious amounts), and processed soy. i already avoided most dairy and all meats except fish.

as far as day 2 goes, it's not a fast, so i haven't been too hungry. and i woke up this morning feeling quite refreshed. the juices and smoothies have been better than expected - great, actually - and the food has been flavorful. i could definitely keep this up!

i would definitely recommend that anyone who has gastrointestinal issues to try the clean program (if you would like, i could send you the list of foods to eat and to avoid and the links to the recipes so that you do not have to buy the book), or anyone open to adjusting their diet for the advantage of their health. i have already convinced my roommate, my friend, and my friend's roommate to do the clean program with me!

i will keep updating about which foods and/or meals i really enjoy and which foods i will begin to avoid.

new beginnings

2010-04-06T06:09:00.002-07:00

have you ever looked at something that you have been looking at for years and finally realized how awkward/weird/awful/interesting/wonderful/your choice of adjective, here it was? that was what i did with my blog. i'm in this program hoping to find myself and to discover happiness, yet my blog kept calling me insane.

i'd prefer not to be insane.

thus, a new beginning. i gave in to the blog background bandwagon (like the alliteration?) and changed my title from the line marked insane to the meditation space.

you may wonder what the meditation space means. i could, of course, give you the dictionary definition of meditation, but that is so very 10th grade English papers. to me, however, the word meditation captures what i am attempting to do with my blog. share my thoughts. share what makes me wonder. share what, i hope, could make someone else think and meditate about what i am writing.

i hope you enjoy my meditations and enter into this new beginning with me.

being veg

2010-03-31T20:38:00.002-07:00

go read this story/blog first.

then, comment on my blog if you so choose.

why do i use meat replacements in my vegetarian cooking?

(a) so i can still have certain meals -- stuffed peppers!

(b) because it proves that i don't need meat to eat

(c) it's convenient. sometimes it takes too long to cook entirely from scratch.

(d) it gives me more variety when i cook

although, i have read recent discussions about soy being unhealthy - particularly processed soy (so things like soybeans, edamame, and pure tofu are okay -- but those fake soy meats are not) - which has made me begin to second guess using the meat replacements.

i'm just thinking out loud. i suppose it's healthy to think about what types of food i am putting in my body.

hope. even on a cloudy day.

2010-03-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

BIRTHRIGHT from Sean Mullens on Vimeo.

wonderland

2010-03-22T21:29:00.000-07:00

forgiven.

intriguing.

mystical.

forgotten.

enchantment.

imaginary.

escape.

stories.

dreams.

i often wonder why. but i don't know why. it's as if i'm stuck in this wonderland.

i want to be like mickey

2010-03-10T15:44:00.003-07:00

THIS is how mickey traveled the U.S.A.

i have always wanted to rent an RV and take off for a few months and travel through the united states. whether that be in baseball season (hellllllo summer) so that i could see a game played in each stadium, or during christmas so that i could see how different places decorate and celebrate or whether that be via campground to campground...

and, now, i have found a specific plan for just exactly how (in terms of where to begin, where to go next, and where to end) i will make my route through the continental U.S.

thank you, mickey.

obsession.

2010-02-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

goals.

2010-02-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

this certification in this
teach here
volunteer/assist with university-level educational research, preferably here, or here
this fellowship with the US Doe
A second master's here, studying this
A PhD here, studying this [particularly with an emphasis in research, secondary education, and political science], and studying under her

vote!

2010-02-08T20:02:00.005-07:00

http://www.refresheverything.com/TFA

yes, i am still very much an advocate for Teach for America.

and, not that i love mega corporations like Pepsi,

but i do like when they give away money to

organizations doing great work.

it's easy - click on the link and vote! please!

brag is not a four letter word

2010-02-08T19:00:00.002-07:00

apparently i do not take the time (or the thought processes, truthfully) to talk about myself enough. so, the opportunity is being taken:

i am officially a fellow with the center for progressive leadership. the CPL (state political leaders) fellowship is a 9-month (part-time, thank goodness) leadership development program for selected organizational leaders, future candidates, community organizers, and progressive activists across the nation. through weekend workshops, projects, faculty advising, peer coaching, and mentorship, i hope to gain the skills and networks i need to advance progressive political change.

now, you might be thinking, "joanna? a political leader? i had no idea she was that interested in politics!" truth is, i'm not. i don't have major plans of running a campaign or working in "politics" my entire life. i do, however, have major interest in being a powerful advocate for progressive change, specifically in terms of education policy. my long-term plans include researching (and, possibly, writing) educational policies that reflect more progressive and equitable ideas so that, one day, educational access and opportunity will be more equal for all - regardless of background, race, income, age, sexual orientation or zip code.

it's a lofty goal. but i finally have a vision. and i am beginning to work on a plan to get me there.

excitement. adventure. opportunity.

what could you live without?

2010-01-24T10:13:00.001-07:00

i am an observer, a watcher, a reflector. my thought processes are rarely turned inwards. but lately, i have found myself, well, reflecting on my day-to-day life habits and features.

i recently read an article in the NY times [i love the NY times online] that chronicled this family who decided to sell their house, and instead buy one that was half the price. they donated the rest of the money to charity at the will of their teenage daughter. the story was inspiring, as they questioned, "what excess do we have that we can live without? can that excess translate into helping someone(s) less fortunate than ourselves?"

this prompted me to begin thinking. i have a wonderful new-ish car [helllllo, Prius], an amazingly large and adorable house for two young teachers, and most luxuries i want to afford to buy for myself. in other words, i have much excess. our house is littered with things. things that i don't care much about, things that i don't use, things that i don't need. our house is much larger than is necessary, and yet it is still cluttered with things. so, thus begins my personal goal of de-cluttering the excess amount of unncessary things before the big move. it also begins my personal journey of attempting to not spend so much money on what i do not really need in hopes that maybe, just maybe, i can save up enough to donate to someone who could put it to better use. wish me luck.

2010-01-20T20:36:00.001-07:00

so much love captured in one photograph.

just something to think about

2010-01-03T18:50:00.001-07:00

The Greatest Story Rarely Told - Dot Earth Blog - NYTimes.com

http://dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/0...

Despite "Climategate" and Copenhagen, global warming remains a blip on the media landscape. [clink on the link to read more.]

a decade in review: 2002

2009-12-29T13:34:00.003-07:00

the year that ...

my life changed
we moved from scottsdale to gilbert
i landed my first job (yay, macy's!)
i learned how to drive
i stopped going to school and completed my coursework at home -- after watching live with regis & kelly, of course

i can't wait.

2009-12-29T13:31:00.001-07:00

Vista: Indian Rock, Berkeley from Anna Bloom on Vimeo.

a decade in review: 2001

2009-12-28T11:51:00.003-07:00

the year that i ...

realized how awful the age of 15 is because you feel old, but you're not
went to walmart, bought lots of hair dye, and danced around in silly clothes with my best friend
became a cheerleader (still cannot decide whether or not that was a good decision)
started watching Friends and Dawson's Creek

[insert picture here]

a decade in review: 2000

2009-12-28T11:33:00.006-07:00

the year that i ....

laughed at all of the y2k scares. i guess that sort of logic was innate, even as a 13-year-old
went to my first middle school dance
graduated from 8th grade
swam and played my summer away
fell in love with the summer olympics and gymnastics again
began my freshman year of high school
discovered how much i loved playing volleyball

[insert picture here]

2009-12-21T17:46:00.002-07:00

happy birthday little B. we love you!

my beautiful fam-damily

2009-12-19T14:02:00.007-07:00

2009-12-06T20:06:00.001-07:00

this sums up my feelings right now.

10 more days.

2009-12-05T14:35:00.002-07:00

anyone who wants to can adopt an animal for me, here:

world wildlife

[p.s. i have a particular fondness for pink river dolphins, giant tortoises, emerald penguins, blue footed boobies, and amur leopards.]

gratitude revisited.

2009-11-30T14:25:00.001-07:00

when i am honest with myself, i recognize that i slacked on my duties (to myself) during my month of gratitude. i definitely did not blog daily, and, to be quite frank, i am disappointed. i know that i did not get as much out of this month as i have in prior years.

therefore, i will remind myself of the things that life has blessed me in which i can express my gratitude:

- a loving and supportive family. i know that no matter what direction my life takes me in, i will have their backing 100%.

- an adorable house to live in that is comfortable -- not to mention that it comes with the world's greatest roommate and a super cute kitty

- a job that is (somewhat) steady, reliable, and keeps me on my toes. it also allows me to pay my bills. oh, and to stretch my creative genius on a highly regular basis.

- a clinical professor and a program director who genuinely care about my well-being.

- a circle of friends who make me laugh, make me smile, and make me take time off from being crazy.

- students who appreciate me (most of the time).

- a mind that permits me to think, push my limits, and constantly strive to achieve my goals.

- the world's best best friend.

- a close relationship with my pretty little sisters.

i know that i will need to remind myself of these things on a regular basis, as it is easy to forget how much i am blessed.

thanksgiving

2009-11-26T20:56:00.002-07:00

in lieu of every thanksgiving cliche there is, my heart swells with gratitude today.

after spending the morning with my mom and sister(s) baking, chopping, cutting, roasting, mashing, and laughing, i realize even more just how grateful i am that my family gets along. we really do enjoy each other's company, and can turn even the most mundane tasks into fun and silliness. and the best par

t is that our silliness produces amazing meals and desserts:

my cousin, kris, has the most adorable daughters in the entire world. it hurts me that i am unable to see them more often than the couple of times a year that we all get together. they have the sweetest personalities, and bring so much joy to everyone around them. i am so entirely grateful for my pseudo-nieces - all three of them. plus, they looked so cute with their 3-d glasses when we went to watch a christmas carol in 3d.

how many families decide to split into two teams of five and play crazy games like 500 in the street, or intense bike races around the entire block, or an extremely competitive game of family-version cranium? only my family. and i love them for it. i am grateful for a family who plays together, enjoys the outdoors, and can turn anything into a little good natured competition. they keep me on my toes.

i am grateful for my beautiful sisters. they are my best friends and i love spending time with them - even though it's not as often anymore as i would like for it to be.

i met my daddy for sushi (a very belated birthday lunch) and we had a nice long talk about the future, and life, and goals... i am grateful for a daddy who is so supportive of my ever-expanding dreams and wishes for my life.

my brittney friend was being so flexible with my horrible lack of scheduling the past couple of days, but i am so glad that she held out. i am grateful for my brittney friend for so many reasons: largely how much she loves me and is flexible with me and my craziness. brittney is the bomb (and so is the lunch place that she took me to yesterday!)

i am grateful for fresh farmer's market veggies. they roast SO nicely, and were probably my favorite food at thanksgiving. for reals.

dreams. goals. plans. i have them. i can work towards them. i realize how lucky i am, and therefore how grateful i am for the ability to dream big and to work towards achieving my goals. that is important to me, especially as a teacher, because i can model for my students what that should look like.

wordless friendship [road trips, vacations, love] gratitude

2009-11-24T12:52:00.003-07:00

becca's wedding, san diego, hawaii

vegetables are yummy for vegetarians

2009-11-23T19:32:00.003-07:00

1. i am grateful for taking today (monday) to go and observe teachers for my own personal professional development. it makes me feel adult - in a good way - when i take a day to pursue career interests without anyone telling that i should.

2. i am grateful that my students still tried their best on the test that i gave them on friday afternoon despite the fact that i was the only teacher who did not let their class go outside to play in the students versus staff football game. that's some real dedication to mastering the objectives. and a very proud teacher.

3. downtown phoenix has this cute farmer's market on wednesdays and saturdays that not only has fabulous organic and locally grown produce (and meat, and eggs, and ... good food), but also features local artisans. the trip there alone can make our entire saturday more enjoyable. i am grateful to live so close, which allowed me the ability to stock up on bunches of fresh amazing veggies to use for thanksgiving.

4. i am grateful for days when i am allowed to wear jeans to work.

5. go here, and check out this picture. i am, regardless of their silliness, grateful of my family's ability to come together and take great family photographs. we had a lot of fun together.

6. i am grateful for all of the amazing teachers that i am fortunate enough to work with every day. they make me laugh when i feel like crying. they make me smile when i am angry at teenagers. they all make going to work so much more enjoyable for me.

7. since i did not have to work at all this week, i am grateful for a weekend where i enabled myself to sleep in on both saturday and sunday. amazing.

8. i am grateful for the ability to make dinner [butternut squash stuffed shells, spicy southwestern stuffed peppers, enchiladas... mmm].

9. i am grateful for an incredible roommate.

carolina's

2009-11-19T16:55:00.003-07:00

1. i am grateful that everyone i love is healthy. a difficult conversation with a family today reminded me how blessed i am to have people i care about doing well in terms of their health.

2. it's thursday. tomorrow is friday. AND THEN I HAVE NINE DAYS OFF OF WORK. the gratitude is overflowing.

3. i am grateful for friends. friends who are boys. friends who are boys that play basketball. friends who are boys that play basketball and want me to play, too.

4. one of my ASU professors enrolled himself in classes for his PhD. he scheduled his own class at the same time that he was supposed to be teaching our class. therefore -- he has now cancelled all of our classes and moved them towards being online-only. i am grateful to only have 2 1/2 hours of grad school class tonight, instead of 6.

5. i am grateful for the opportunity to go and get a burrito for dinner tonight from my favorite mexican place ever.

6. i am grateful for sunshine.

**sorry that i've been slacking. i am being a poor role model; there are no excuses.

playing catchup

2009-11-15T15:31:00.003-07:00

1. i am grateful to be in my second year of teaching, having acquired the ability to lesson plan for an entire week in under one hour. fabulous.

2. i am so beyond grateful for the weekend away i had this weekend. it was the lovely TFA southwest conference and we got to go and escape to flagstaff, where it SNOWED. and it was cold. and pretty. and not phoenix. and, i actually learned a few things. the break was nice.

3. i am grateful for long car rides with lisa friend. 2 hours is a lot of friend time when there is nothing else to do.

4. our girl friends went out to our favorite thai restaurant in flagstaff last night, and i am grateful for a fun night with fun girls.

5. i am grateful for lesson planning buddies. they make doing something not so pleasant a little bit easier. and more motivating.

6. when it is 70 degrees, sunny, and absolutely beautiful outside in the middle of november... i am grateful that i live in phoenix.

7. i am grateful for fingers.

8. my kitty still loves me, even after we ditch him two weekends in a row. i am grateful for such a sweet, unconditional love like that.

9. i am grateful for my best friend. she's pretty fantastic. like, really fantastic. i don't deserve her, but she's still here, continuing to be amazing.

happy days

2009-11-11T20:28:00.003-07:00

1. i am, again, grateful for a roommate who makes me dinner. [why do i feel like i say this every day? guess it must be my turn tomorrow!]

2. i was SO grateful for a day off to play catch up: clean house, buy groceries, do homework...

3. i am loving the fact that it is still in the 80s and beautiful outside. us arizona people get to act as if it is still summer -- except no humidity, and it's nice and cool at night. i am grateful for fall weather in phoenix, because i like wearing shorts!

2009-11-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

1. i am grateful for yummy dinners out with good friends. (and all my phoenix friends, have you tried pizza a metro?? it's delish.)

2. due to my fatigue, i am grateful that i gave my pre-algebra classes a test today, because that bought me two lovely hours of peace and quiet while they were testing. gifted kids are great for that.

3. with thanks to all of our veterans, i am grateful for a day off in the middle of my week which allowed for sleeping in.

4. i am grateful for a consoling roommate.

mondays

2009-11-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

1. i find that mondays are the most difficult day for me to find things to be grateful for. guess that speaks to how much i love the start of a new week. but, i am grateful that i was able to return to work and have my students tell me how much they missed seeing me last week. they're cute like that sometimes.

2. i am grateful for a short week, because that enabled me to take a nap yesterday instead of having to worry about doing homework (which i will be doing on our day off on wednesday).

3. my roommate cooks dinner for me when i am tired. i am pretty dang grateful for her for that.

2009-11-08T20:14:00.002-07:00

1. i am grateful to be back in phoenix -- but only for the 80-degree weather.

2. lisa started this college and career class where we meet on sunday evenings to discuss such important and controversial matters regarding church and political issues. it's extremely fascinating, and i am grateful to partake in a group that provides me with intellectual stimulation (and a mini break from the sunday night stress).

3. sushi for dinner. gratitude ensued.

4. last week i feel ill and had to stay home from work on thursday and friday. although that was a difficult decision, as it put me behind my schedule, i am now grateful that i can use my lesson plans from those days for monday and tuesday of this week, thus saving me two days of lesson planning time.

parks, sunshine, and sparkles

2009-11-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

1. i am grateful for the 11 hours of sleep i got in a comfy bed (at a hostel, nonetheless!). it was much needed.

2. today we went and met up with lisa's friend, jenna, in san diego. we went to breakfast in la jolla and ate crappy mexican food (it's no phoenix), we strolled around the la jolla beach and watched the birds, we walked around balboa park (every city needs one of these), and laid in the grass and picnicked, and ended our day wandering around adams antique street and ate dinner at a vegetarian restaurant. i am grateful for such a relaxing, enjoyable, fun day with friends - old and new.

3. i am beyond grateful to be living in the southwest, where we get to enjoy beautiful, sunny weather almost all-year round. it's something i would definitely miss if i ever leave.

4. i am grateful for my ability to take a weekend off and enjoy myself. i think it was well deserved.

san diego

2009-11-06T21:49:00.003-07:00

1. i am beyond grateful for the opportunity lisa and i have this weekend to be driving from phoenix to san diego. not only will the weekend provide a much needed relief from our daily demands in phoenix, but it is also a chance to explore lovely san diego (since lisa has never been before). PLUS, i kind of like the 6-hour drive. it's pretty. we had an amazing sunset. and i like talking with lisa friend.

2. based on one of our discussions, i am grateful for my extended family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.). i've always strived to make solid relationships with each person individually, and i really love every one of them. family has always been important to me, and i hope that it shows.

3. speaking of driving to san diego... i am grateful to have a solid, reliable car to take road trips in. i never have to worry about it breaking down, or something going wrong. that makes this life in the 20s that much more fun when you have a steady road trip mobile.

4. i am grateful for french fries :)

2009-11-05T18:09:00.003-07:00

if you've been following my blog the past year, you may remember the november: a month of gratitude challenge that i participated in last november. in remembering how amazing that month was for me, i am most definitely repeating the challenge.

thus, there is a challenge, to be done in the month of November [actually, one should really strive to attempt this challenge 24/7]. the challenge is to write down three "things" that you are grateful for daily. participation in the November Attitude of Gratitude Challenge is voluntary.

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS: each day during the month of November I will be blogging (some prefer to send out mass emails to their friends) about three "things" for which i am grateful. the term "things" is used to encompass a myriad of stuff including, but not limited to: a certain set of circumstances, an event, an inanimate object distinguished from a living being, possessions or effects, a deed or act, a product of work or activity, an idea or notion, a piece of news or information, a person, a memory, anything that makes you smile. !!the challenge is to come up with three ORIGINAL "things" each day. try not to repeat entries!!

the blogs should be posted by midnight each night. if you miss a day or two, no biggie, but you have to make it up, no skipping! yes, this may mean accessing your email or blog accounts on a much more regular basis for some of you.

WARNING OF POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS! please not that challenge participation may result in any or all of the following:

- you will be surprised at all the Lord has done for you

- you will feel help and comfort

- you may find yourself singing as the days go by

- your doubts will fly

HOWEVER, i am, apparently, a serious slacker as it is already November 5th, and i am just getting started. so perhaps i will have to think of four things to be grateful for during the first two weeks.

1. at the risk of sounding like a crazy cat lady, i am grateful for my new kitty, jacob. i asked lisa, on a whim, if we could get a kitty and she actually agreed. a few days later we found ourselves at the local county animal shelter filling out paperwork to adopt the world's sweetest kitten ever. he's 6 months old, adorable (he's orangy-tan and white), and loves to cuddle. he's not at all annoying, and loves to sit on our laps all day. he's been providing that constant animal love and comfort i had been missing.

2. i am grateful for the people in my district who respect what i do as a teacher. i have been very fortunate to have been asked to sit on two different math committees for my district. on one, we develop the pacing and lesson planning guides for our teachers to use. on the other, we develop assessments and analyze data. both committees make me feel good at my job, which is an invaluable feeling. furthermore, they are allowing me to explore areas of my career that i may like to focus in. they also provide nice breaks from the day-to-day demands of teaching, mainly, actually teaching. as much as i love it most days, the break is nice.

3. everyday when i wake up, or come home, i realize how grateful i am for the house i am living in (doesn't hurt that i have an incredible roommate). it's cozy. and calming. and comfortable. and cute. and i really love it. i will miss it, and my roommate, when the time comes for me to move.

4. i am grateful for my lesson planning buddy. not only is it 10x easier to get up and make myself plan when i am meeting someone else, but she has creative ideas and is an amazing teacher that i am enjoying learning from.

personal resolutions

2009-10-25T09:30:00.002-07:00

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal." - Albert Einstein

well, if it's good enough for Einstein, then it is good enough for me. part of the happiness project is to make - and keep! - resolutions. some of which will be easily trackable, as shown in my goals chart on the side. others of which are far more personal or seemingly untrackable (visually), anyway. throughout the course of my lifetime, i've made resolutions, yet have had a difficult time sticking to them. [does the term "new year's resolutions" ring a bell?] so much so, that i made it a point to not make new year's resolutions anymore due to disappointment when i couldn't keep it/them.

so what's so different about the happiness project resolutions? i think key number one is knowing that they will make me happier, as well as knowing what my own limits are and not setting resolutions that are unattainable.

i have learned that in order to keep a resolution, it must come broken down into easy to follow steps, as well as a strong internal motivation to keep them. i also have to know that right now may not be the best time in my life to keep a certain resolution, so maintaining some flexibility and being willing to postpone a resolution that would be better sought later. furthermore, it has to meet the basic requirements that i teach my students when we set goals: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely

- read more for pleasure [one book a month]

- don't expect praise or appreciation

- walking more [about 3x a week]

- drinking more water [at least 3 times daily]

- meditation [at least 5 minutes a day]

- wake up earlier on the weekends in order to be more productive and enjoy more daylight hours [~6a.m. -~7a.m.]

- play with my kitty everyday [yes! we got a kitty!! pictures soon :) ]

- cut down caffeine intake, particularly soda. as a start, reducing to once per day on weekdays, and once per weekend. we'll go from there.

four of these you will be able to watch me as i progress in maintaining these resolutions. i can guarantee that once i see some success, i will add more resolutions. the others of which i suppose i will just have to update and self-monitor. although this may seem like a lofty thing to be doing when i have so many other things on my plate... these resolutions in particular should make the plate seem less full, even without focusing on those career/work/school items that are filling up the plate.

blog action day - climate change

2009-10-16T18:23:00.003-07:00

it's blog action day! and, yay, someone wisened up and decided to use blogs around the world to spread the news about climate change. so, to borrow from Letterman... my own personal top 10 list of little things you can do to leave the least impact on earth's fragile climate:

10. turn off the lights (and, if you're super cool, the AC/Heat) when you're not home

9. use compact-fluorescent light bulbs. IKEA has cheap ones, and they last forever

8. turn down the temperature of your water heater. 115 really won't feel too different from 120, but it uses a significantly decreased amount of electricity/gas to heat up

7. carpool/bus/bike/walk as often as possible. the grocery store is a mile away and all you need is milk? bike. you and your neighbor both need to go to the dry cleaners? carpool. even cutting out one car trip a week will save you money (fabulous!) and put fewer carbon emissions into the air you're breathing.

6. STOP BUYING BOTTLED WATER. use a reusable water bottle, please. (and if you buy too much Starbucks, bring your own mug for pete's sake.)

5. recycle. it's super easy, i promise. milk cartons, wine bottles, cardboard boxes, junk mail... all you need to do is put your recyclables in a different container and dump it into the different colored bin outside. easy peasy.

4. UNPLUG your computer when you're not using it. for reals. it won't die if it's not plugged in 24/7.

3. stop printing everything. email and the internet is here - and oh so prevalent - for a reason.

2. turn up the AC / turn down the heater. 80 is better than 78, just as 68 is better than 70. wear a sweater and slippers, if need be. but turn that dang thing down (or up).

1. BUY LOCAL. farmer's markets are the bomb. [plus, not only are you saving tons of gas and carbon emissions by not paying to transport your produce from Argentina, but you are supporting your local economy. that's a major plus right now.] at a minimum, look at what country your produce is coming from and commit to buying only mainland U.S.A. produce.

soccer, october, and fall

2009-10-03T15:18:00.002-07:00

1. it's officially october. which means school has been in session for 2 months. (crazy). and that october break is one week away.

2. my students' first quarter benchmark scores were the 3rd highest in the district (out of 17 schools!) and among the highest at my school. i am so very proud of how hard they have been working.

3. FALL WEATHER (well, fall weather for phoenix) is here!!! 62 degrees this morning with a nice cool high of 88. it's lovely.

4. my soccer girls played an amazing shut-out game today winning 1-0. who's ready for playoffs in 3 weeks?

phoenix

2009-09-30T19:18:00.005-07:00

one, probably minor, component of the happiness project is to identify a symbol - a life symbol, a symbol of happiness. something that represents how i am feeling right now and what i am aiming to accomplish. although, rather than calling it a symbol, i am preferring to call it a totem. this defines as a more dynamic system of symbolism. traditional totem poles are an arrangement of symbols created for the purpose of conveying a story or event. thus, i feel as though the use of the word totem is more appropriate and comprehensive than that of symbol. the totem can tell the story of this journey. corny, i know. deal with it.

the top symbol on my totem in this moment (although that may change as my thoughts and feelings fluctuate throughout the project) is a phoenix. a phoenix, when rising from the ashes - no matter how dark or fiery, no matter what destruction may have taken place - gives me the imagery of rising above the unhappiness. phoenix, as a city, is also representative of what feels like home: the desert, the mountains, the sunshine, the expansive blue sky. although perhaps the symbol of a phoenix is becoming overused, i still feel it to hold a personal meaning for my life.

i am still debating with myself over the remaining symbols for my totem, but current thoughts are: a sea turtle, a sun, the tree of life, the sea, yin & yang, a labyrinth, the finch, a new moon, and/or a sunflower.
(obviously, i will delve more into their symbolic meanings once i decide)

on another, happier, note...
a major milestone i have hit this week is best put by Abraham Lincoln: "People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."
so, add deciding that i can be happy as my first resolution. resolutions #2-12 will be coming soon.

2009-09-21T22:13:00.004-07:00

i may be a complete thief. but then i had to wonder... am i still a thief is the item in question are tools and ideas about happiness? i began thinking not. either way, i'll give major credit to this woman, whose blog/book/website inspired me to complete my own version of the happiness project.

to me, my happiness project stems from the unfortunate realization (er... wake up call) that i am not, in fact, happy. i am not even quite sure that, in this moment, i know what happiness is. i'm not sure that i could define it, or describe it, or explain how to become happier. thus, my quest to determine what defines my personal happiness - and how to increase it - begins.

key explorations i am going to begin with include [but are certainly not limited to]:

resolutions
personal commandments
lists
journaling (one-sentence)
inspirations
happiness boosters
researching theories of how to increase happiness and testing then them out on myself
my personal totem (symbol)

i think i am going to begin by listing those things which i know bring me joy. i feel as though that is a safe place to start because it gives me a launching pad, and the possible hope of discovering why such things bring me joy and how i can bring about more joy more often.

based on my personal journal entry:

- sunshine (including sunrises and sunsets)

- outside time

- running water (in terms of rivers, ocean waves, waterfalls, etc.)

- touch

- nature (flowers, mountains, cactus, trees, lakes, gardens and everything else included as such)

- yoga

- photography

- learning new things

- walking

- cooking and experimenting with new foods

- fresh mountain air

- friendtime

- live acoustic music

- planning adventures

- driving with the windows down and no real place to go

- moonlight hikes

- a good glass of wine when accompanied by good conversation

after having made this list a month ago, i felt as though it were small. creating the list felt like an eternity. in actuality, i know that just translates into meaning that i struggle with being aware of my feelings and what external activities bring me joy. so this list, as it is right now, is dynamic. i am fully prepared to be able to add to this list as i research and explore further. but for the time being, i am excited about the prospects of this new challenge. really, i am. thanks for joining me.

the happiness project

2009-08-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

... is coming. details soon.

settling in to year 2

2009-08-14T06:18:00.002-07:00

let me just say this in case i forget it:

the stress is about 1000x less this year than it was last year at this same time.

this year, teaching feels so much easier, so much more natural. i'm enjoying it every day, almost all day long. my students are enthusiastic (although some of that may be due to teaching such a high group of kids), funny, and hard workers. the management essentially is running itself - as in, i don't feel like i am having to spend my time focusing on managing behavior as much as i can focus on actually instructing and facilitating learning. my lesson plans aren't boring. my test scores are higher.

it's pretty fantastic.

that's not to say that i won't have bad days, or low test scores, or students i don't fall in love with. but i'm beginning to really feel like this is definitely what i am supposed to be doing right now.

and that's a huge change. i like it.

here we go again

2009-08-02T10:44:00.003-07:00

my first day back to school is tomorrow. ahhhh! i am trying to be really excited. it's kind of working, especially being that this year is already light years ahead (in terms of preparation) of last year. the coming year holds a few significant changes from last year:

- i am only teaching one grade level (less the five sixth graders i have in my advanced class)

- out of the four class periods that i teach, two classes are gifted and have less than 20 students (one has 12!)

- i am in a new classroom in a new hallway this year. and you know what? i actually like the way my classroom looks. it looks like a real classroom. [i'll take pictures this week to show you]

- i am the gifted coordinator for 7th grade

- i am co-leading student council

- i am PREPARED. with my regular 7th grade class, i can tell you what i will be teaching every day between now and the end of the year. i cannot even explain how stress-relieving that is.

- i get the fortunate challenge of being able to design the curriculum for the gifted pre-algebra course, as it is being piloted this year by 4 of the 17 schools in my district and there is no set curriculum or standards. i'll be honest in saying that it freaks me out to have so much freedom in my planning, but i also know that is aligns pretty nicely to my long-term career goals of curriculum development and teacher preparation.

many of my stable, calming events and situations of last year are remaining the same. i will be coaching soccer again, my coworker-friends are still teaching at my school, i am working with our after school tutoring program again... all in all, i really am excited about the prospects my second year of teaching is bringing. i feel more confident in my abilities and have plenty of new and exciting ideas to try out with my students.

i'm hopeful that it will be a good year.

read me!

2009-07-29T17:48:00.001-07:00

my personal recipe storage center.

all have been tried, all have been favorited, and all are vegetarian (although i suppose you could re-modify them and add meat back in, but yuck!)

i'm baaaaack!

2009-07-18T18:40:00.002-07:00

after a long-overdue vacation ... i am, unfortunately, back at my lovely home in phoenix. my summer adventures were amazing: relaxing, historically educational, bonding, and overall really fantastic. although lisa and i slacked somewhat (it happens when internet is sparse), you can read about the majority of my adventures on our joint blog here.

and for those of you too lazy to read that, i spent 3 weeks in central mexico, in a lovely town called cuernavaca (about an hour south of mexico city) learning spanish and discovering the rich history of mexico (a topic i previously knew nothing about). now i feel well versed enough in spanish to be able to conduct a parent-teacher conference, yay!, and consider my knowledge of mexican history to be of assistance in applying historical connections to mathematics. overall, extremely productive. and, not gonna lie, the 3 weeks of 75-degree weather, cool rains, walking, and discovering more about myself sans cell phone/internet/TV was pretty close to perfect. a wonderful way to spend my summer.

after mexico, lisa and i joined my family for a weeklong beachside vacation in san clemente, california. i believe that week may have just been the icing on the cake to my great summer. (can you tell i'm running out of synonyms for great?) laying in the sand, eating delicious food, and spending time with my family made for a smooth transition from summer vacationing back to normal life.

speaking of normal life, i moved. again. i know. but lisa and i found a great little house in downtown phoenix and living together seems to be fitting super well. and our house is adorable, so if anyone wants to come and visit phoenix, we have plenty of room and love company. but now it's back to the grind of teaching. i'm slowly easing myself in by working a few days a week, or for a few hours a day so that's it's not like going back to working 24/7. although that leads me to my goal for this year: to have a life. i'm more committed to taking care of myself, and my relationships with others. i must say that i am looking forward to what is to come. bring on year 2!

2009-06-18T08:54:00.001-07:00

while i am in mexico, follow me on the joint blog i have with lisa:

lisayjoannainmexico.blogspot.com

yo soy...

2009-06-04T21:41:00.002-07:00

I am so DONE. I have officially had 7 days sans students. 7 whole days! That eludes to roughly 14 days sans lesson plans, and 25 days sans ASU homework. It is finished. I actually survived. Thrived, even (especially the last 3-4 months). Sure, saying goodbye to my 8^th graders was sad. It is difficult to send them off to high school only being able to hope for the best and wish that my favorites will come back to visit. But I’m done. I am finally able to breathe, which I realized (as I drove home from my last day of work last Friday) is something I haven’t really done for about a year now. It feels good.

2. I am CRAZY. I made a spontaneous decision last week when I agreed to work for my district for 4 days to create common math assessments for the 7^th grade. I remember not even thinking about the decision, other than the notion that if my district was going to make me use these common assessments, I would certainly like a say in what they look like and how they assess. So, although it wasn’t the easiest thing to wake up around 6 and leave my house after 7 for work every day this week when it was supposed to be my “summer,” and having to use my brain 7 hours a day to analyze the new state standards and sum them up in 5 benchmark assessments (including a summative)… it was one of the best decisions I have made for myself professionally speaking. The resources I gained were invaluable. The assessments will be incredibly useful. The 8 of us who were on the creation [they called it a PLC] team are hysterical. Not to mention that it kept me busy, active, and out of my house. Sometimes my spontaneous decisions turn out to be the best decisions.

3. I am TIRED. Working all day and coming home to a half-packed house knowing I am responsible for finishing the packing by Monday has been exhausting. A good form of exhausting, but exhausting nonetheless. On a lighter note, I am definitely excited to be moving to our cute new house with Lisa-friend.

4. I am EXCITED. Lisa and I leave for Mexico exactly a week from tomorrow. I am looking forward to the combination vacation/learning experience. Our language school has a bajillion field trips that we can attend, plus south-central Mexico is supposed to be beautiful. [And, psh, what swine flu?] I was thinking about how much I used to look forward to planning my next foreign trip, knowing that it would be a new experience that I could learn and grow from. I had begun to miss that. I am really glad I found a friend who is as dedicated to an idea as I am – because if she wasn’t, I don’t think this trip to Mexico would be happening. J

2009-05-29T15:09:00.002-07:00

being an avid lover of photography (ahhh... secret passion!), i keep stumbling upon the photography blog of the nytimes, which just happens to be my go-to source for news and is read daily via my computer.

i thought i would share the link, because the pictures tell so many stories of daily events, people, lives, and history from around the world: click here.

...as a sidenote, perhaps i should reinvest in my photography interests and sign myself up for a class? thoughts?...

2009-05-27T20:25:00.002-07:00

anxiety. sadness. babysitting. adaption. exasperation. fatigue. stress. busy-ness. excitement.

those are the key words filling my last three days of school (well, four, if you count the teacher-only friday). i never would have imagined that the last week of school would be one of my most difficult. it was by far amongst the easiest in terms of prep and planning, but absolutely exhausting. and sad. i really am going to miss my 8th graders who are being "promoted" on to high school. i know that a select few actually will come back and visit, but the rest i will probably never see again. and so i have to prep myself to be able to send them off to the unknown, not knowing who their teachers will be, or what type of education they will receive, all the while hoping that any motivation i gave them will remain intact.
not to mention the amount of stress, changing of plans, and general exhaustion packing up my classroom/scheduling/dealing with end-of-year shit is. i am going to bed at 8:30. and that is already too late.

on a bright side, i had a lovely memorial day weekend. lisa and i took a miniature road trip to the arboretum about an hour's drive east of phoenix. other than locking our keys in the car... it was lovely to be outdoors in moderately cooler weather exploring the cactus garden and hunting for native butterflies and birds [i'll fully blame that nerdiness on lisa]. lisa, jean, and i also took a longer road trip to explore payson, hike the tonto natural bridge, and relax at roosevelt lake. the highlight of that trip, however, turned out to be the spontaneous drive home along highway 88 whose history is intriguing and whose scenery is breathtaking. i highly recommend it.

1 more day!

things i'm looking forward to:

2009-05-17T20:10:00.004-07:00

having 3 months sans graduate school courses. if the 3 months goes anything like this past weekend went, then it will be heaven for sure.
8 days of school left (1 of which is a field trip, 3 of which are testing, and another that is move up day / promotion ... so really, 3 days of school left)
MEXICO! t-minus 25 days!
ASU baseball game / women's pro football game / road trip / memorial day pool party & BBQ (all in one weekend? what is this? joanna has a life again?! no way!)
dos gringos institute group reunion
tubing part 2 of summer 2009 [and maintaining my lovely summer tan]
cooking dinner again. i've missed it.
moving in to a cute house by the lightrail with Lisa - and that also means i get to de-clutter everything, and that is exciting for me. as is the prospect of re-decorating!
week by the beach in san clemente
starting over.

decisions

2009-05-09T22:16:00.003-07:00

[an oldie, but a goodie, as you can see the pure joy radiating off of my face. i thought it was well-suited for this post.]

so, while driving myself around downtown phoenix today, i was desperately searching for something interesting to talk about. something besides how stressed out / anxious the end of the school year is making me. something besides how much i hate graduate school courses and having professors who are novices making sloppy mistakes. something besides the fact that i miss my daily outdoor time because i no longer have softball practice.

i couldn't come up with anything, and that made me really sad. i wish that i had intellectually stimulating (and not in a negative, anxiety-causing way) thoughts and ideas floating around in my head right now, but everything is revolving around the same two topics of conversation i have had over, and over, and over again for the past 11 months. when did teaching begin to suck all of the life out of me? how did i let myself fall into this unhealthy cycle of literally having all of my eggs in one basket? it was at this point when i made a couple of decisions.

1. i decide what i think about and, for the most part, what i talk about. therefore, if i am sitting around with my friends talking about work or school - it's quite simple to change the topic of conversation. at least, it should be simple. i'm going to try my damnedest to focus on the more intricate parts of our lives that dictate who we are and what we feel on a far greater level than our job titles.

2. as stressful as work is making me (and it's the end of the year, dangit! it was supposed to be easier, not harder!), i've had a lot of successes that i can reflect on and think happy thoughts: i have students for whom i am their favorite teacher, a large majority of my students learned a shit ton of math in the past 9 months, i've developed lasting relationships with my coworkers, i've grown immensely as a teacher from august to may, and most days i really enjoy my job. that's really saying something. and i think it [usually] shows.

3. this is kind of a revitalizing time period. the school year is essentially over. in 4 days, i will be done with grad courses until the end of august. i have 13 school days left. i'm moving to a new house with my best friend. i'm (hopefully) only teaching one grade level next year. i freaking survived my first year of teaching, and, actually, thrived a little. i learned how to manage my time with school, work, coaching, and having a bit of a life so now at least i know that it is possible. there is a lot of positive change happening. i like change. really, i do. so i'm taking the time right now to embrace the changes and move forward happily.

4. my support system is incredible. with that, i know that i can always rely on my back-up, and will be willing to take more risks, even when life is scary. that phrase bit me in the ass after i talked my friend through what it meant to keep walking forward even if it scares you ... so now i have to live by it. and you know what? it's okay. it's scary, for sure, but it's okay. i know i'm not alone.

some of those may not seem like decisions at all. but they've taken a long time to become actualizations and realities for me - and with that, i'm satisfied with where my mental processes took me today. i'm moving forward. and that's a big deal.

2009-05-02T21:55:00.002-07:00

one word thoughts about my last week (okay, okay, maybe some are two words):

softball playoffs

student council

sleep (i really mean lack thereof)

tears

goodbyes

teenage girls

field trips

ASU

homework

botanical gardens

tan lines

water

May

fights

tension

laughter

friendship

summative

Mexico

roommate

bragging rights

2009-04-25T17:23:00.004-07:00

so... i'm definitely going to brag about myself, mainly because i think i'll need to re-read this at certain points in the next year or so to boost my self-esteem and remember that i don't suck at my job.

i am rookie of the year (out of 11 rookies!) for my school! the lovely picture below depicts all of the rookies of the year for the district that i work in. yay, congratulations to me!

2009-04-24T00:44:00.000-07:00

i need something to talk about besides work. or school.

thoughts?

gratitude.

2009-04-19T20:40:00.002-07:00

1. i am grateful for this girl. i didn't go into TFA expecting to make life-long friendships (rather, what i expected was to have an awful job and no life, but that's a different story for another time...), but that is what happened. i think this friendship is a keeper.

2. i am grateful that i enjoy my job. it helps, A LOT, in regards to waking myself up so early in the mornings.

3. i am grateful for my super supportive family. they're kind of cute like that.

4. i am grateful for arizona sunshine. while most others begin their complaints about the heat around this time of year, it's about now that i feel truly comfortable and at home. 99 degrees? i'll take it.

5. i am grateful for the trip i am taking, here, in june. it will be a much-needed break from the norm and should be exciting to better my spanish skills while frolicking in the tropics.

one hell of a week

2009-04-15T21:19:00.003-07:00

fight on monday. oh, and i got cussed out.
cell phones stolen tuesday. students arrested. others suspended.
two fights on wednesday. 5 students suspended. 1 parent meeting.
FIRE in the bathroom on wednesday. firetruck at school. outside for 45 minutes.
no fewer than 5 students crying each day this week.
entire 7th grade being withheld from field day tomorrow.
computer cords stolen. teacher mad. very mad. [not me.]
surprise pop-in visit to my classroom by the superintendent.
teachers not returning next year.
sadness amongst some of my personal friendships.
love and loss.
insane amount of homework for grad school.
MIDTERMS.
cancelled softball games.

crazy week = not happy Joanna. FML.

however, i did receive some most excellent news today. i will divulge more when i have pictures to go along with it after tuesday of next week!

2009-04-07T22:15:00.003-07:00

why did no one tell us about how amazing standardized-testing week is?

4 hours of silence.

yes, silence.

bridge building in the afternoons which means that my students are occupied and engaged, and i get to relax.

that also means no lesson planning. or grading.

can every week be AIMS week?

wada na tad

2009-04-01T22:04:00.004-07:00

AIMS testing [the state mandated standardized testing... thank you, NCLB] is far more boring for teachers than students. i would know, as i have now been on both ends of that spectrum. and, since my school is being audited, i had to WALK AROUND for the entire 4 hours of testing. i'm used to standing all day, but walking all day without a break is extremely exhausting. i am not entirely sure how i am going to survive next week's four days of testing in a row...

softball starts tomorrow. i'm coaching the little boys (5th and 6th grade). i'm kind of excited. they're all cute and little. yes, little.

no lesson planning this weekend!!!!!!!!!! well, none that has to get done. if i'm smart (which sometimes i'm not), i will plan ahead for the week after AIMS. we shall see.

fresh beans - sans soaking - and potatoes from the farmer's market. i am becoming evermore excited about the soup/stew i will be making for myself this weekend. all i need to decide on are the types of spices and extra vegetables i will be throwing in. cajun ... thai ... indian ... southwestern ... so many ideas, such little decision-making ability.

it's april. there are LESS THAN TWO MONTHS LEFT of the school year. holy shit. i'm surviving.

to just throw this out there: as i was talking to lisa tonight, i remembered that, originally, phoenix was not in my top 3 destinations for TFA. although that decision may have been made for poor reasons, it has worked out extremely well. i would not trade the people i have met and now love for anything (yes, that means you). just saying.

2009-03-24T18:13:00.002-07:00

i'm really beginning to enjoy my job.

the people i work with (they make me laugh all day long).

the students.

the fact that i can visually, statistically, and empirically see how i am getting better daily.

my ever-lightening mood.

i'm sure i'll need to remind myself of this later, but for right now... it's pretty damn fantastic.

caleeefornyaaa

2009-03-21T22:08:00.000-07:00

sacramento:

whirlwind.
marathon.
pedicures.
laughter.
sleeping.
freezing.
eating.
laughter.

san francisco day 1:

lovely - and low cost - train ride from sacramento to san francisco. too bad it was kind of foggy and i couldn't see the bridge well. charming hostel for only $108 for 4 nights (can't beat that with free breakfast and free wi-fi). discovering how to use the bus system. sweet new emily-friend as amazing tour guide. mission district. salvadorian food. lots of walking. lots. dolores park. mission dolores. more walking. alley-mural tour. more walking. world's best cup of chai. more walking. bunker hill. more walking. japantown. soba noodles. stationary store. more walking. sleep.

san francisco day 2:

free waffle breakfast at the hostel. boring work to be done at peet's coffee house (BAD chai). venture into china town for fantastic massage at jin healing center for women for $40. meander in and around china town and down back to north beach. lunch/more work at a random cafe. not great food. explored haight-ashbury. anarchist bookstore. rum punch. cute boutiques. nutella crepes. sushi dinner in the sunset. super yummy. korean dessert (sagu?). fab day.

san francisco day 3:

another lovely free waffle breakfast. palace of fine arts (so peaceful). golden gate park. skipped the 2-hour wait to go to the academy of sciences museum for free. de young museum. andy warhol exhibit [fucking incredible]. best thai food i've ever had. amazing organic/live/vegan lemon-coconut cheesecake. getting lost trying to find my bus stop. the castro. doubt. harvey milk's store. the underground metro. the civic center. united nations plaza. san francisco's best-kept-secret taqueria. sunset over the golden gate bridge. early to bed.

san francisco day 4:

early morning bus ride to the tenderloin district for an amazing breakfast (black bean cakes, home fries, spicy scrambled eggs, and jalepeno cornbread, anyone??). cable car ride *finally* to north beach. 6 hours of riding a bicycle around the hills of sunny san francisco, across the golden gate bridge, and around even sunnier sausalito [it was a perfect day. 70 and not a cloud or fog in sight]. lunch at fred's. ferry around alcatraz and back into fisherman's wharf. sea lions. crazy tourists. nap. museum of modern art. tears. bus rides. legs about to fall off...early to bed, again.

sacramento round 2:

yummy french breakfast to say good-bye to san francisco with my new emily-friend. toting around my luggage, laptop bag, bookbag, pillow, and purse for over 20 blocks. taking the bart from SF to berkeley. adrian's adorable tour of UC Berkeley and telegraph street. mediterranean food. hummus. getting lost on the drive up the hill. vegan ice cream. 2 1/2 hour drive back to sacramento [thank you, california traffic]. new erin-friend. crappy dinner [apparently sacramento isn't for foodies like san francisco is]. drinks and faux-karaoke. adrian getting smashed and making us all laugh. picnics. sleeping. sad goodbye.

2009-03-10T20:35:00.000-07:00

what the fuck was i thinking? maybe i'll be the lucky one who doesn't get burned.

this life (i chose it) is twisted.
it looked so tempting: steady, straight, predictable.

maybe i'll be the special one and it'll be easy. but now i'm having trouble just breathing. i didn't see the mess at the end of the road.

what the fuck was i thinking?

random musings

2009-03-08T14:43:00.002-07:00

"In us are infinite varieties of seeds - seeds of samara, nirvana, delusion, and enlightenment, seeds of suffering and happiness, seeds of perceptions, names, and words. The quality of our life depends on the quality of the seeds that lie deep in our consciousness." - Thich Nhat Hanh
although i no longer consider myself to be a college student (graduate school, at least in the manner that i am going about it, does not count), i wonder if i am still young enough to be shaped by this recession. read some more thoughts about this, here.
i am working on a new meditation technique to bring my mental state to that of mindfulness. hopefully by becoming fully aware of my thoughts and motivations, i can begin to understand why i feel the way that i do.
never has a week-long break been more deserved than that of the one i will be on in less than one week.
a clean home is a happy home. in more ways than one.
laughter truly is the best medicine. i needed all of that laughter last night [the good deep belly kind of laughter].
some days i wish i could get paid to lie around, reading books, and expanding my wealth of knowledge. i've recently (the last couple of years) become absolutely fascinated with history: historical fiction, memoirs, current affairs, non-fiction, travelogs, and the new york times draw me in like a moth to a flame. it's redonk.
sunshine. enough said.

word of the day

2009-02-27T20:53:00.002-07:00

my school has attempted to implement a "word of the day" system. today's word: sarcastic. let me tell you, i had some fun with that word today.

speaking of sarcasm, lisa showed me this website the other day because it made her day. as of this afternoon, it has officially made my day, too. [as a precursor, if you are offended by heavy swearing, don't click on the link.]

click here to make your life a teensy bit happier: HERE.

teaching is like... a daffodil

2009-02-21T13:10:00.002-07:00

during my secondary curriculum class a couple of weeks ago, we were supposed to come up with a metaphor for education. on top of the cheesiness that the idea was on its own, our professor wanted it to be humorous. when you ask a slew of 22 22- and 23-year-olds who are working 80 or so hours a week in a ridiculously difficult career to create metaphors... you get weird answers. thus, the creation of teaching is like a daffodil. or a casino. or an orange. talk about cheesiness to the max. i'll spare the boring and insight-lacking details and instead will launch into a descriptor all of my own:

middle schoolers (ages 12 - 14) are comedians. each day launches a new embarkment in the early-middle stages of puberty. they are best friends on monday, and horrible enemies on tuesday. they hold grudges for trivial faults (i.e., telling them to spit out their gum), but forgive the major disasters (i.e., getting sent out of the classroom and having a phone call home). they beg to be treated as adults, and respected as such, but then goof around like toddlers in the classroom without taking responsibility for their actions. they do have a fantastic sense of humor - it's that perfect mix of childish innocence (knock, knock, who's there?) with adult innuendos. i laugh literally all day long. for example, one teacher had told them that when a teacher is smiling at them, they are implying that the student is stupid. the joke was hilarious, because then whenever you smiled at a student, they got offended. so one day i was about to start lecture-yelling at my students for their juvenile behavior in the hallway and as soon as i had them sitting down and full of guilt pre-lecture, they all start staring at me and giving me this grin - as if to imply that they were reversing the "i'm smiling at you to imply that you are stupid" joke. i couldn't even help myself as i was laughing so hard. they completely ruined my lecture [who takes their teacher seriously while they are laughing at them??], but it was refreshing to be able to joke around with them. or take the other day, when i noticed two boys poking each other with pens and proceeded to comment that they were "flirting." as they both turned red after the class "ooooo"ed, i won major points for my humor. ms. smith: 1 point, class: 0.

first-year teaching is like a circus with me as the ring leader. all around you is hectic-ness, and if you let it, it could become entirely overwhelming. but if you sit down and realize how much control you have, it's rather invigorating. it may be a circus. there may be crazy stunts and danger. but i'm in charge of it all. and that makes it entertaining.

graduate school - at least at ASU - is like reading a children's book. at first, since it is something new, you are concerned that it may be difficult. but then once you begin, it is easy. not necessarily fun, because perhaps you wanted something challenging, rewarding, and worth your time... but easy, nonetheless.

life for me right now is a game-show. friends, family, coworkers, professors, and even some strangers are there rooting me on. me against the game. and, most days, i am winning.

les choses que j'aime

2009-02-14T18:16:00.003-07:00

in honor of my 200th blog post (have i really had this thing that long??) and, i suppose, in honor of the day that celebrates love, i feel like remarking upon the things that make me smile the most:

vacations, however long or short
snuggling on the couch during a movie
a student telling me that they “get” something now
sunshine on my skin
ice cream with hot fudge
listening to latin languages
reading a book that challenges my mind and improves my vocabulary
the words (only when truly meant) “i love you”
driving around with my windows down
the satisfaction acquired only from working hard
toe socks
whitney’s fresh berries and ricotta cheese and honey dessert
“your mom” jokes
sufjan stevens songs (and similar styles from others)
walking barefoot in the sand
eating a really good salad
taking the lightrail around downtown phoenix
campfires/bonfires
recycling more than i throw away
making a home-cooked meal for more people than myself
gchats
13-year-old humor (or, 6-year-old humor as lisa likes to say)
photography
my hippie moments
watching the sunrise
winning scrabble
creating a bomb.com lesson plan
reading the ny times online
yoga -- even though i’ve slipped out of my regular practice
the sounds of my sisters and i laughing
walking around outdoors
when a student tells me i’m their favorite teacher
making my family proud
big, spinning hugs
solving a ridiculously complicated math problem
knowing that i am part of a bigger picture (feeling small, yet significant)
beaches and mountains
wordless, yet deep, conversations
genius moments
meaningful friendship (equated to that of family relationships)

redonk.

2009-02-09T17:40:00.001-07:00

THIS is the most ridiculous article I have ever read. Usually a huge fan of the NY times, they have really let me down with this one. Is the author, Allen Salkin, attempting to conjure up sympathy for these wealthy Wall Street bankers? I do not care how you look at it, $500,00 is plenty of money [thank you Obama]. So stop sending your child to private school and enroll them in some of New York's finest public schools. Rid yourself of the expensive chauffeur and invest in public transportation (which is greener, anyhow). Fire the nanny - or at least reduce her to half time - and have one of the parents stay at home with the children. They will appreciate you more for that. Move to a place where the co-op costs do not equal the mortgage costs. Spend the summer with your kids, instead of shipping them off to summer camp. Cut back on those vacations to Aspen and enjoy a quiet drive upstate (which is, also, greener). You've had the personal trainer for years now, so ditch them and complete your work-outs at your nearest 24-hour Fitness yourself, sans trainer, and sans fancy club. Reuse your fancy dresses for the balls. Or invest in a swap with your closest girl friends and share amongst each other (again, greener). If you must, keep the expensive suits, but stop whining.

$500,00 is about 12x as much as the average American family is living on right now. Most struggle to pay simple bills such as: health insurance, electricity, or groceries. All would welcome $500,000 as if they had won the lottery, instead of gasping that they are losing their "whole life." If your Wall Street bank is in so much trouble that you need that bailout money, then you will not complain about taking a cut in your already-too-high salary. Nobody cares that you can't afford the private school and the nanny. Until you and your family understand the value of a hard-earned dollar, no one wants to hear about how "difficult" it will be to "only make $500,000 a year."

happy birthday lisa

2009-02-07T14:31:00.003-07:00

1. a few pictures to commemorate the lovely surprise party we threw for her:

the gang who stuck it out all night!

the only one where one or both of us doesn't look ridiculous. i know.

25 candles...

champagne toast! [look how happy she is :) ]

us: "surprise!" lisa: "i figured it out right before i walked in!"

playing the waiting game with the lights off hiding behind the couch

2. and then to borrow from my friend chloe's blog, i'm doing a mini-installment of dear, you.

dear lisa,

we are all really glad you were born 25 years ago. i'll be more selfish, though, and say that i am really glad you were born 25 years ago, taught in south africa for a year after finishing college, and then applied to teach for america - phoenix and were put into my same group during institute. thank you for wanting to spend so much of your time with me constantly, and for putting up with your friends unique terms of endearment for me. thanks for always chatting with me online or over the phone while i'm having a bad day (or a good day) and need to not be alone. thank you for being so fabulous and for knowing me so well that i can't even lie (well) to you about your surprise party. thank you for always being honest with me, and for validating how i feel and/or talking me out of being too negative. thank you for providing me with your couch to cry on, for meals, and for someone to eat and lesson plan with. i feel more than incredibly blessed to have you in my life, and that you play such a large role in my life right now.

happy birthday.

love, your friend, who really hopes she gives you as much as you give her.

2009-01-25T21:16:00.004-07:00

funny and/or litle things that got me through last week [my first super-legitimate "i'm-a-real-teacher-now" bad week]:

more money in my paycheck
no double class at ASU on thursday -- now instead of leaving at 10 p.m., i am only in class until 7 p.m.
the sweet little notes my students left for me on my studyisland account [things along the lines of... "you're my favorite teacher," "best math teacher ever," "we love you," etc.]
the lame jokes Nina and i passed back and forth all day on friday
having a 4-day week
constantly watching episodes of Friends with my friends
the weatherman predicting rain every day for a week...and then having no rain
opening night of the Chicago broadway with Lisa
student J tripping and falling (harmlessly) in front of his friends
the pizza party i had with my new homeroom
inside jokes about certain funny people at Target, on the lightrail, and at Pei Wei
Margo spilling her soup all over her pants
never having a moment to myself (during a bad week, that is practically a necessity) -- thank you , friends

wordless friendship [road trip] gratitude

2009-01-21T17:37:00.003-07:00

top 10 reasons why i heart phoenix

2009-01-16T17:58:00.006-07:00

1. bike rides in the 80-degree weather in January

2. my adorable historic home
3. our fab art museum (which is free on tuesdays)
4. views of mountains no matter where you are at in the city
5. adorable places to have brunch (especially on sundays)
6. adorable (non-chain) places to lunch
7. our new light rail
8. palm tree-lined streets
9. over 300 days of sunny blue skies
10. our funky little downtown

happy, happy, joy, joy

2009-01-11T15:44:00.003-07:00

i am absolutely loving my life right now. that is the first time i can confidently say that statement (and having it be true) for quite some time.

seriously. loving.

my new class of 7th graders that i was terrified about are behaving amazing well. i think they are really responding to actually having structure. and having a teacher who cares about them.
my lesson plans are bomb-diggity. i actually feel like a fun teacher and am, for once, not bored while teaching. the kids are appreciating the discovery-based and cooperative learning that i have been implementing recently. and get this... although it is taking me more time to plan (again), i am enjoying planning. i thought it would be difficult to plan engaging lessons - and sometimes it is - but they are so worth it. and so fun.
i have a life. well, much more of a life than i had. i can see my friends during the work week. i can stay up until 11 (better than 9!) on the weekends. i can take saturdays completely off of working. i can enjoy watching my guilty pleasure T.V. shows. i can play outside during the wonderfully warm Arizona winters.
teaching is enjoyable. i'm starting to feel like i am actually a teacher and my students are actually learning. THIS is how it is supposed to be. and that's why i teach for america [haha, dumb joke.]
i have a house that i adore. it makes coming home to it a pleasure. and now that i have stopped lesson planning at home (hellllo coffee shops), i don't dread going home because i know that i can genuinely relax.
i have friends who appreciate me. that's a huge statement. and it means a lot.
AND, i am in the midst of planning some lovely vacations. i believe i have northern Arizona desert, SoCal, San Francisco/Sacramento, Pittsburgh, southern Mexico, and Chicago on my list of vacations before August.

i could get used to this. i may even stick around a while, who knows.

p.s. it's kind of scary to love my kids as much as i do. when you like them this much, and then something traumatizing happens to them, it is absolutely the most heart-breaking feeling. and that's not pleasant.

wordless holiday [christmas break] gratitude

2009-01-05T20:42:00.002-07:00

hasta la vista 2008

2009-01-02T11:22:00.004-07:00

new years in Peru

Ecuador with amy

endless photo sessions with the sisters

hawaii with the madre [and consequently falling in love with the big island]

falling in and out of love

completing my honors thesis

jazz festivals & outdoor concerts in the springtime

weddings and wedding parties galore

graduating from ASU summa cum laude

figuring out what to do with my career & getting accepted into Teach for America

Boston & Cape Cod for 4th of july

meeting amazing new people and establishing ridiculously wonderful friendships

Teach for America's summer teacher bootcamp turning out to not be so horrible

happy hours at Dos Gringos

moving out of Gilbert. finally.

Brittney's homecoming

moving to downtown Phoenix and falling in love with the city

first day of teaching

road trip to near Mexico (a.k.a. Bisbee)

working on my first Master's degree

falling in love with NYC in the fall

road trips to Flagstaff and remembering how much i love the natural beauty of Arizona

becoming an adult (somewhat)

in a nutshell... falling in love with beautiful people, beautiful places, and this beautiful thing we call life

2008-12-29T09:38:00.003-07:00

time off gives me time to...

...sleep in until 9:30 every morning

...have entire days free of thoughts about school

...almost forget the meaning of homework for master's classes

...relax

...watch movies

...catch up with old friends

...miss my new friends

...stay awake past 10p.m.

...cook and eat yummy food

...play on the new light rail for an entire day

...take a long, hot bath

...de-stress

...laugh with my crazy family

...enjoy the holidays

...drive up to flagstaff on a whim

...re-decorate and actually organize my bedroom

...go shopping at Ikea [or the grocery store]

...time off gives me time to feel like myself again.

2008-12-23T08:16:00.002-07:00

i am not good at being an adult. seriously. that whole "taking care of finances-making sure the house stays clean-not killing the pets-generally being responsible" thing.... yeah, i'm not so good at that.

if it weren't for whitney, my house would be disgusting.

if it weren't for automatic bill pay, i would become delinquent.

if it weren't for the cat meowing to remind me she's hungry, she'd probably die.

if only i didn't have a best friend who was so dang responsible, maybe i'd feel better about myself because i'm still attempting to adjust to this whole being-responsible thing.

i guess that's why teachers get days off. to pay bills. to make sure my car insurance is still intact. to drive to the dmv. to clean the house.

bottom line: being an adult really isn't all that fun. actually, it kind of sucks.

wordless christmas [nutcracker ballet] gratitude

2008-12-21T09:21:00.004-07:00

2008-12-19T21:01:00.003-07:00

whoa, it's over. 4 1/2 months. 1 semester. 2 quarters. 18 weeks. 83 days.

and i made it. only a couple of tears. a lot of learning. much laughter.

what could possibly be next?

top 10 things i've learned from my first semester of teaching

2008-12-17T19:44:00.004-07:00

1. schedules change. constantly. without warning. and usually not everyone is filled in about the schedule changes, so it doesn't help to ask. it's best to just go with it and not complain.

2. even if they're bigger than me, they're still only 13. which means i can still trick them into thinking i'm grading things. or that i'm actually 68-years-old.

3. it's easier if i don't like them. but it's a heck of a lot more fun if i do. they're funny. have you ever noticed that? 13-year-olds are really funny.

4. middle schoolers will do anything for candy or hot cheetos. anything.

5. parents - and thus, phone calls home - are a teacher's best friend. even the most behaviorally challenged student will pay attention with even the threat of a phone call home. that also means i really enjoyed parent teacher conferences. keeping that in mind should make those 40 or so phone calls i will be having to make at the end of the year a lot easier.

6. not to waste time on grading. seriously. the less i take home to grade, the better. i think i've even nailed my science of grading down to a zero-take-home.

7. tracking mastery shouldn't be seen as an evil. especially when your students are mastering the content - then it's almost fun. almost.

8. if the kids are making my life a living hell, it's about 98% my fault. it's usually a result of poor planning. or not explaining something clearly. or both. that was not a fun lesson to learn, but it was super important. my teaching life sort of completely 180'd after figuring that one out.

9. i am not good at paperwork. period. i used to think i was O.K. at paperwork, but i've learned that i really suck at it. and need to get better/more organized.

10. i've learned to trust myself that i am doing an O.K. job. that's probably the most important thing i've learned in my first semester.

when did i start living for the weekends?

2008-12-07T19:57:00.004-07:00

i've realized this before, but it hit me really hard today: i am currently living for the weekends. in particular, i am living for friday nights and saturdays. all week long, i am counting down in my head - and sometimes out loud - until friday. all weekend i am dreading the arrival of sunday because sundays signify the end of the weekend. by sunday evening, i am already counting down until the next weekend.

i truly never thought i would be the kind of person who lived for the weekends. i don't even DO anything on the weekends. that's probably the pathetic part, but i guess that is what first-year teaching does to a person.

speaking of weekends... i had a fairly lovely one. a yummy meal with whitney and an early bedtime on friday; a day full of sleeping in, lounging around watching friends, and a TFA Christmas party on saturday; listening to my bff's angelic voice at church and lesson planning/doing homework while watching Christmas movies on sunday .... not the worst weekend i've had.

sob story

2008-12-03T20:28:00.002-07:00

for the record... i teach 4 classes. 3 classes of 8th graders, and 1 class of 7th graders. as of about 2 weeks ago (and as per my blog post), i discovered that i now like my kids. i had no idea how much i liked them until today, however....

another TFAer at my school - who happens to teach my same content areas (7th & 8th grade math, as well as 7th grade reading) - will be quitting teaching at Christmas break. as sad as that is for her students, it posed some unique challenges for me. my principal and vice principal pulled me into their office after school for a meeting today. to make life easier on the long-term substitute they will be hiring to replace her, they want to eliminate one of the classes that (s)he has to prep and lesson plan for.

in translation, they are stealing from me my favorite first period class (highest performing AND best behaved) of 8th graders and giving them to the new substitute. in exchange, they are giving me a class of 30 of the worst behaving 7th graders.

i cried.

both out of a deep sadness of losing my favorite students, and out of the sheer fact that i kind of hate 7th graders right now and, lucky me, i will be gaining 30 new ones. oh, joy.

the end is here

2008-11-30T19:46:00.004-07:00

1. i am grateful that i have the best roommate in the world. living with my sister was a fantastic idea. she keeps the house clean, the energy high [neither of which i would be able to do if i were living alone], and does the grocery shopping - with my money - so that's fun for both of us. living together has been a fun way for us to re-connect and stay close as both sisters and as friends.

2. oddly enough, i am grateful that i was playing nurse for lisa today. spending 8 hours helping her to get better was one way (obviously not the preferred way) for us to spend 8 hours together. i still managed to get the work that i needed to get done completed and, in a way, it brought us closer.

3. i am grateful for my month of gratitude. this time of reflection has been the most incredible blessing. already quite the optimist (haha), i have become so aware of all the wonderful things in life. i am a very blessed woman. my heavenly father has truly shone his light upon me, angels have poured out their mercies, and my heart has swelled with joy. i am going to miss reminiscing about my day to talk about how grateful i am - for things both big and little. i know that this month has instilled in me a desire to implement gratitude in all aspects of my life 24/7/364. truly, the month of november was the best month i have had thus far since beginning teaching. i am grateful for the roof over my head, the clothes that keep me warm, a bed to sleep in, the food in my stomach, income that doesn't cause me to worry financially, a family that supports me, and friends whom i adore more than anything.

tired, and sick, but cannot sleep

2008-11-29T22:10:00.002-07:00

7 Things I Want To Do Before I Die...
1. raise a child
2. travel to the middle east
3. buy a home
4. skydive
5. earn my PhD
6. go a day without questioning myself
7. fall into a life-long love

7 Things I Can Do...
1. the splits
2. manage a classroom full of 13-year-olds
3. sleep with the lights on
4. make sweet potato rolls from scratch
5. love people
6. calculus
7. dye & cut hair - without formal training :D

7 Things I Can Not Do...
1. eat tomatoes
2. say no to someone i love
3. stay up past midnight
4. decorate cakes. i may as well even go as far as saying i cannot even bake cakes...
5. drive through a tunnel without holding my breath
6. be the center of attention
7. go more than a 3 days without talking to the people i care about the most

7 Things I Say Most Often
1. "your mom ______ "
2. "yes..."
3. laugh (i know that's not something you say but still...)
4. "hola"
5. "easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy!"
6. "guess what!"
7. "i need silence in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

7 Celebrity Crushes
1. matthew mccaughney

2. george clooney

3. david beckham

4. josh grobin

5. brad pitt [in the movie troy]

6. dermot mulroney

7. mark consuelos

7 of My Favorite Places

1. the valley, arizona

2. montanita, ecuador

3. nyc

4. southern france

5. italian riviera

6. central oregon

7. west coasts of california and mexico

dayquil

2008-11-29T21:49:00.002-07:00

1. i am grateful for DayQuil. it is the only medicine i have found thus far that not only relieves my cold & sinus symptoms, but doesn't make me loopy or sleepy. ahh... the ability to still get work done while sick; only in the life of a teacher.

2. i am grateful that laura's family took me along with them to pizzeria bianco tonight. the food was lovely - i fully recommend going - and it was spectacular to not have to wait 3 hours like everyone else!

3. i am grateful that i actually accomplished something today. hitting that final save button on my newly re-vamped long term plan and daily (for the rest of the school year) calendar relieved about 10 tons of stress off of my back. i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...

wordless thanksgiving [sister fun] gratitude

2008-11-29T08:16:00.003-07:00

crusin'

2008-11-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

1. i am grateful for the 10-mile bike ride my family took this morning. it was refreshing, re-energizing and generally fun. exertion feels good, doesn't it braelyn?

2. i am grateful to have so much time off from work. it has been a much needed break for me. ahh... now only 3 more weeks to go until i get 2 weeks off for christmas!

3. i am grateful that i saw some good friends tonight :) i miss them.

thanksgiving

2008-11-27T21:57:00.007-07:00

1. i am grateful for my wonderful family. they are extremely silly and goofy, talkative, and they love and support me always.

2. i am grateful to have friends who bless and enrich my life so much. they're an a

mazing support group, and i know that i can always count on them rain or shine.

3. i am grateful for my luckiness in life. i have a solid job (that i am slowly learning to love), i graduated from college, i'm working on my master's, i live in a beautiful historic home in downtown phoenix, and i finally feel like i am figuring myself out as i grow up. it's kind of fun.

recycling

2008-11-26T21:06:00.002-07:00

1. today i am grateful for my director. she took the time this morning to call me - while she was home, at her grandmother's house, cooking for thanksgiving - in order to ensure that i am doing okay (based on my hectic, crazy email i sent her during panic mode yesterday). seriously, that's so awesome of her. i couldn't ask for a better director.

2. i am grateful that i got to go hang out with, and have lunch with, stephanie and her adorable baby Jhett. one of the only things i miss about living in Gilbert is not being able to see her as often.

3. i am grateful for the friend-time i had this morning. i realllly needed it [apparently i've been needing that a lot the past couple of days]. and i'm grateful that we were able to work out a budget and a plan for going to mexico this summer!

yay, we're cultured

2008-11-25T22:32:00.005-07:00

1. i am grateful for my time off. i was able to get a lot of work done this morning and early afternoon... it was needed.

2. i am grateful that i was able to decompress on lisa's couch. she knows i needed that, too.

3. laura's parents are in town for thanksgiving, and so we were able to show them a bit of downtown by having wine at portland's and then walking to the art museum. i am grateful to be living downtown where such fun cultural aspects (like going to the museum for free on tuesday nights) can be a regular part of our lives.

lovely

2008-11-24T18:12:00.002-07:00

i'm not sure exactly when i turned into an old woman who uses the word "lovely" .... but i do.

1. i am grateful that i was able to schedule my time today to go pay a visit to the school i worked at last year. it was a complete blessing and mood-lifter to see my old students (yay!) and my amazing co-workers. my, how i miss them. i hope that they know how grateful i am for the support they give me and the lessons they taught me last year.

2. can i do a reverse-gratitude? although i am grateful that i was able to see my lisa-friend's classroom, meet some of her students and co-workers, and witness her teaching... i'm going to reverse it and say how fun it was for her [as in, i brought her lunch, gave her feedback, and brought a brownie]. do i win the best friend award yet?

3. i am grateful that a new episode of one tree hill is on tonight so that i can feed my addiction. pathetic, i know.

men in black

2008-11-23T20:11:00.002-07:00

1. men in black is a stupid movie, by the way. but, i am grateful to have good friends who truly wish to catch me up on all of the movies i never saw from my childhood. they're so good to me.

2. i am grateful that i was able to sleep in until 9:30 this morning. it felt WONDERFUL to have no alarm set, no time to wake up, and to just let my body rest as long as it needed to.

3. i am grateful that i don't have to work tomorrow. this will probably be the first sunday in a long time (june, at least) that i will have a restful night's sleep, not full of mini panic attacks and bad dreams of forgetting to do something for the next day.

kinda crazy like that

2008-11-22T23:06:00.002-07:00

1. i am grateful for a sushi dinner with the fam. since my mom is out of town, my dad took advantage of taking his girls (lisa included) out for sushi since we are all so obsessed with it. sometimes, i know this is silly, but i forget how funny my family is. we are kind of crazy together. i like it.

2. i am grateful that i live so close to the downtown phoenix farmer's market. i picked up some lovely organic and locally grown salad greens, veggies, fruit, granola, and sweet potatoes.

3. sometimes i get in a domestic mood. take today, for example. my mom had slyly mentioned the fact that since papa won't be at our thanksgiving this year, we have no one to make the rolls... so, since i have the time, i took it upon myself to find a great recipe. and a great recipe i found! this year, dun dun dun, i will be making sweet potato rolls from scratch for thanksgiving. thus, i am grateful for a) having fresh ingredients b) my ability to follow a recipe and c) having the time to make rolls from scratch.

it's coooookie time

2008-11-22T14:30:00.002-07:00

i got mildly bored this afternoon while waiting for my sweet potato roll dough to rise [not that i will ever complain about being bored] and so i thought it would be fun to make some cookies. now, i am not the kind of woman who keeps pre-made cookie dough in her fridge/freezer, nor do i keep my pantry very well stocked. and i did not feel up for running to the store again simply to make cookies. thus, enter in the "cookies from the crap in your kitchen" recipe. as a bonus, they're vegan, almost entirely sugar free, and supremely easy to make.

1/3 cup (i always over fill) peanut butter

2 bananas - mine happened to be very over ripe and frozen, so i had to thaw them a bit first

a bit of vanilla

a couple spills of soy milk (perhaps you could use regular milk if you don't want vegan cookies)

a bit of maple syrup

a big bowl full of oats

a little dash of cinnamon

some flour

first mix the runny stuff together - the PB, the mashed bananas, the vanilla, the soy milk, and the maple syrup. then roll in the oats, cinnamon, and flour.

plop blobs onto an ungreased cookie sheet and cook for about 12-16 minutes, depending on what kind of oven you have.

they are super yummy. i wish, though, that i had found some chocolate chips in my pantry because that would have been a delicious modification.

**if you would like more exact measurements, ask.

he broke my heart

2008-11-21T21:25:00.002-07:00

1. i am entirely grateful that i had a wonderful day today. i kind of had this "oh, crap" moment last night where i realized that i am actually starting to like my kids. that may seem normal and a good thing, but believe me, it is so much easier if you don't like them. i essentially got made fun of by my co-teachers for being that teacher. you know, that teacher who likes her students. that teacher who brings in candy as a prize on the game day. that teacher who consoles a girl's broken heart with a hug. that teacher who gives pizza as a reward for good behavior. oh, crap.

2. i am grateful lisa came over tonight for friend-time. even if she is a grandma and went home at 9:15. even though we're not really friends.

3. i am grateful that i am now on my week long break!!!!!! so needed. so deserved. so full of gratitude.

and, as per lisa, i have a kid funny of the day:

"ms. smith, you need to give R three detentions when we come back from break."

"why? what did he do? he wasn't even in my class today because he left early..."

"...he broke my heart."